chuck norris jokes

chuck norris made the kid that was scared of the boogie man by making him happy by killing the boogie man with his chin


hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaa!

Chuck Norris didn't turn off the light. He turn off the darkness.

I didn't know you knew Chuck Norris jokes

Scotty in Star Trek often says "Ye cannae change the laws of physics." This is untrue. Chuck Norris can change the laws of physics. With his fists.

When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.

Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.

Chuck Norris was what Willis was talkin' about.

Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes. They taste like chicken.

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.

Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.

Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year.

If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.

Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
Cancel rating

If you rearrange the letters in "Chuck Norris", they also spell "Crush Rock In". The words "with his fists" are understood.

Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.

Ninjas want to grow up to be just like Chuck Norris. But usually they grow up just to be killed by Chuck Norris
There are two types of people in the world... people that suck, and Chuck Norris.


Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.


Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.

Science Fact: Roundhouse kicks are comprised primarily of an element called Chucktanium.

Chuck Norris does not style his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.